


I'd F*ck A Hadron Collider

by OnWednesdaysWeStudyinPink



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 9,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4403447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnWednesdaysWeStudyinPink/pseuds/OnWednesdaysWeStudyinPink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is just so rock-and-roll after they close the rift, man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ninjaninaiii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninjaninaiii/gifts).



1.The kaiju was small, so small that to an *idiot* it might have been regarded as a pet. In reality, it was a manipulated anomaly that lived in a special holding environment to be studied with four other identical small monsters.

Yes, the original kaiju had been dead for a little over five years, five years since the rift had been closed, but there was still so much left to learn. Generations left of studying to do and Newt would never choose to give the field up. This was his legacy. ‘Grandfather of Kaiju Science’--that’s what would be engraved on his headstone in the decades to come.

"Or: 'The Idiot Who Allowed Himself to Be Killed By a Miniature'," Hermann sniped as he watched the other man trying to wrestle Number Four's jaws open. Number Four was sedated, so it was cool--not dangerous at all.

"Hey, 'miniature' is a slur against the magnificence that is kaiju, okay?" Newt protested. "Not cool to call them something after their shortcomings--" he winced the moment he said it, knowing that the other man was grinning at his accidental pun.

"Yes, well, their 'shortcomings' don't mean they aren't dangerous."Hermann's smile disappeared as he watched Newt's arms getting alarmingly close to the sharp teeth of the small creature. Number Three had bitten down on Newt in its sleep once before and Hermann could picture it all too well.

His phone let out a boisterous tune, the one his wife had assigned to herself. He removed the phone from his pocket and answered, still watching the _idiot_  in front of him, lest he get hurt and require Hermann to pull the alarm for medical help. He listened to Vanessa describe with enthusiasm the

He listened to Vanessa describe with enthusiasm the weather in Bali, a tropical summer that was perfect for a photo shoot on the beach, listened to her talk about their son play on the beach, listened to her talk about the tan she was getting. He smiled asking her the occasional question about her well being, satisfied when she told him how much fun she was having, how much fun their son was having.

Then she asked how he was, how his _idiot_  was. He grinned and informed her (loudly) that Newt was as stupid as the day she'd met him, when he'd managed to spill curry all over her sweater in the restaurant they were at. Newt began to loudly protest this from the table space he was working at, griping about how Hermann was the stupid one, that Hermann couldn't grasp the higher implications of his research--"Vanessa, **you**  understand how important my research is. Tell Herm to get with the programme!"--and Vanessa simply laughed in Hermann's ear.

And then in her private tone, she asked if his idiot was keeping him happy, that she worried about his sanity in the dark labs of Hong Kong, that she'd drop everything she was doing if he felt lonely. No, he assured her. He wasn't feeling lonely.

She was photogenic and had a healthy appreciation of classic literature. Newt was a camera whore and had a deep understanding of the realities of the world they lived in. She had been Hermann's first "love-at-first-sight". Newt had been his first "love-at-first-email". Vanessa had reminded Hermann that he'd saved the world and there was no reason he wasn't allowed to have them both.

No, Hermann didn't feel alone anymore, on the other side of the End of the World, and he murmured affectionate things to her, things you didn't ever have to voice aloud to your drift partner, because they'd always be aware of them. And Newt was staring at him, a warm smile on his lips at the emotions transferred between them. Assured of his well being, Vanessa finally ended their call after another thirty minutes, talking about parenting matters and her schedule and when she'd be "in the area" next.

The phone back in his pocket, he found himself unable to keep his eyes off Newt, who was still stealing very dreamy eyes looks at him as well. "Forget about your stupid monster for a moment," he murmured and Newt, caught up on the high of the love feedback Hermann was feeding him via the phone call from Vanessa, smiled and came over, letting himself get pulled into an embrace. Hermann affectionately brushed at Newt's hair as they kissed, until Newt came down from the high enough to mumble,

"Number Four is not a stupid monster."

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

2\. Newt liked Vanessa from the moment he met her. She'd been pretty and had a loud laugh and had called Herm a "rockstar" which had made Hermann very red in the face, but Newt had felt the pleasure of being called that and hadn't that been funny? Because Newt was the one who had dreams and aspirations of showing everyone just how punk and psychedelic and rock-and-roll the science world was and now Hermann had a girlfriend who called him a rockstar because he was a number cruncher and nerd and had saved the world? Too cool, man.

The bowl of curry being spilt on the soon-to-be-Mrs Gottlieb had been a complete accident and Newt had apologised profusely as she insisted it was okay. He'd spent the next five hours alone with Hermann being screamed at and chided, then an additional three days with the silent treatment. They'd been on their book tour at that point and it had been very depressing to feel that much withdraw from one's drift partner.

"This is who you drifted with? That's so _awesome_ ," Vanessa had said when they were introduced and Newt had agreed that all people deserved to have a drift partner as badass as him. Hermann had given them both very sour looks.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

3\. They're in Madagascar, curled together on one of those outdoor beds that overlooks the jungle from Vanessa's hotel room when he says, "I want to marry you". She kisses him and then agrees to it. She's already four months pregnant.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

4\. "Well we can't marry her!" Hermann announces two weeks into his relationship with the supermodel. He's back in Hong Kong, transferring his things upstairs to the better labs they've been able to acquire since the jaeger programme officially ended and the clock stopped counting down. 

"Why, man? She perfect for us!"

They're still working out that weird issue of everything being "we" and "us", no "you" and "I"; apparently, it's common the first six months after a successful drift. The mind can't and won't separate itself from its new partner.

"She's **that**  Vanessa." Hermann slams down an old photo from 2019, a screen shot of a young woman standing in front of Parliament, waving a sign that everyone repent. 

Newt lets out a loud, crowing laugh. "OH MY GOD YOU'RE DATING A CULTIST?!"

"Shut up! Shut up!" Hermann hisses. "It's not funny! They're--" Hermann tries to think of a nice word. "Morons!"

"Oh my god, my sides are cramping!" Newt has tears streaming down the side of his face. Hermann hits him hard with his cane. 

Everyone who stays up with pop culture knows the story of Vanessa, face of Tom Ford perfume, Chanel muse, and Gucci's fashionable gasmask range in Australia. You remember, don't you? The pretty girl who was spotted on the 7 o'clock news with the kaiju cultists, demanding that the British government consider changing their ways before the kaiju come for _them_? Her face had been plastered on the screen for days before anyone knew who she was and then she was scouted by an agent from a Paris modelling agency and from there her life was glamour, glamour, glamour.

"Hermann's dating a cultist!" Newt screams to the guys helping them move their boxes of books. 

“Arsehole!” Hermann hits him with the cane again.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

5\. The way they meet is so cliche, sometimes Vanessa isn't sure if she's living in a beautiful movie. She's in between Burberry campaigns and returned to London to relax and unwind. There's a coffee shop not far from her posh studio apartment, a little bohemian haven where she can spend hours in quietude reading. She's too pretty to make her own coffee, she jokes silently. The reality is, her coffee maker sucks.

So she's at the coffee shop one morning and there's a man at the counter arguing with the barista that his credit card should just be run again, that there's no way it can't be working! He's flustered and she would otherwise ignore him as she orders from the other barista, but the card he's carrying has a _**Shatterdome**_ logo on it and she realises she's looking at Dr Hermann Gottlieb.

"Hello, Vanessa," the barista greets nervously. "The usual?"

"Sure." She hands over her own card and then adds, "I'll pay for his."

Gottlieb turns around, ready to argue he doesn't need charity from her, but she flashes him a gorgeous smile, showing her slight gap tooth and suddenly he's stuttering a polite, “Oh, that's not necessary, Miss. I'd feel terrible."

She laughs and he's smiling at her in the most ridiculously smitten way. 

"Come sit with me," she insists as her coffee is handed to her and a gluten free muffin. 

She leaves him to sit down at a table by the window, her fingers tapping nervously on her cup.

He does join her, quiet and shy and she giggles like she's thirteen and on her first date. His cheeks are burning pink and he's muttering _"thank yous"_ and _"you didn't have tos"_ and she waves it off as though she does this for everyone (she doesn’t—the money’s she’s made from her beauty is selfishly hers).

Her hand reaches out to touch his and she feels him flinch in surprise. "Tell me what it's like to work with Kaiju."

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

6\. After their second date, she'd invited him back up to her flat and Hermann had gladly accepted. He hadn't wanted the day to end, even if it had been long and his leg ached. Vanessa told him to make himself comfortable while she put on some tea. He watched with quiet pleasure as she put the book he bought her (a William Blake anthology) on the table beside her bed.

When she'd opened the book this morning in the cab, she'd recited something about undying devotions and then said very plainly, "I'm in love with you". He'd been so giddy and punch drunk and had returned the sentiment, telling her that he was head over heels with her, too.

As he looks around her flat, listening to her talk about the museum they spent the afternoon browsing, he notices little bits and pieces of kaiju and k-day memorabilia. There are a few framed posters, a couple of small statues by the table near her front door, a water colour painting of Hammerhead.

It's not anywhere as bad as Newt's kaiju fetish, though a little surprising. Though, then again, maybe it isn't. Since the first attack, kaiju are a part of every day life and no one is immune to interest in them.

It's not until she's talking about a music video she's going to be starring in next week that he realises that it's not just a kaiju acknowledgement that's happening, but a kaiju celebration. His fears are confirmed when she brings a bowl of fresh prawns over to the statues and leaves it there as an offering. His whole body is tense and he wonders how quickly he can get to the door and to the elevator.

Since the closing of the Rift, there had been hostility from cultists towards members of the Pacific Rim Ten and Hermann had been the target of of nasty letters and one time, a thrown corn cob.

And now he was in a room with one of the people who blamed him for their Gods dying. Hermann flinches when she comes to sit beside him on the overstuffed sofa, stuffs a few gluten free jammy dodgers in his mouth to keep himself from blurting out something stupid.

"Good?" She asks and he nods enthusiastically. They taste horrible. She smiles and has one herself. She's put on some slow jazz on her stereo system and her hand is playing with the hair at the back of his neck. A few kisses on his cheek and she says, "you know, you don't have to stay the night if that makes you nervous."

"So which one is your favourite? The kaiju," he specifies. He's so nervous. 

"Trespasser. It was my fifteenth birthday. I was visiting San Francisco with my family--we won a trip; my bus got held up and I watched Her tear apart the Golden Gate Bridge." She has a dreamy smile on her face. "I was spared to share Her glory."

Hermann swallows hard. Oh god, what is he doing in here with her?!

"What about you?" She asks.

"I..." His hands are shaking. "I don't have a favourite." 

"They're all great," she agrees, resting her head on his shoulder. 

He stuffs more of the terrible biscuits into his mouth as they sit together quietly. When the tea whistles for attendance, she leaves him and he makes for the door. "You know, I wanted to thank you," she calls out and he's slipping on his coat that had been hanging on the coat tree. "You don't make me feel stupid. People don't take Believers like me seriously--even less because I'm pretty. But you're a genius and I don't feel stupid." 

He's paused, and he can hear her pouring their tea behind the partition that separates the kitchen area from the rest of the studio. "I hope I make you feel the same way."

She comes around the corner and she looks confused as to find him by the door ready to leave and not on the couch where she'd left him. "Are you leaving?"

"I thought I'd get you flowers," he lies, his smile awkward and hopeful and forced. She's so nice and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. 

"Oh." Her smile is a little awkward, too. Maybe she doesn't quite believe him. “Right. Well, don't get lost along the way."

He does make it to the little flower shop around the corner and it's getting ready to close, but he manages to grab a nice bouquet of snapdragons and something else that he's sure she'll like. He's leaving tomorrow for Hong Kong and he had planned on buying her flowers anyway and now it feels like a cushion for breaking up with her.

He brings the flowers back to her and then says he really should get back to his hotel to pack, so sorry, yes, he'll promise to call. She gives him a deep and wanting kiss, insisting she'll miss him and the first moment she can, she'll come visit. He is so tongue tied and doesn't commit to anything and leaves.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

7\. "Dude, we love her. She's perfect. She is like the perfect combo of us: my looks and your charm," Newt argues with his mouth full of fresh noodles. "Who cares if she likes kaiju-- she's heard my demo tapes and likes them! Keep 'er!"

Newt had been thrilled when he received a series of scathing text messages after Hermann's first date and it was revealed that Miss Vanessa was a fan of his short lived college music career. Anyone who appreciated nerdrock was okay with him.

"Shut up--she worships them." Hermann's hands are buried in his hair. "I thought I'd gotten away from freaks when I left Hong Kong." 

Newt points to Vanessa's face, three stories tall on a billboard outside the restaurant they're holed up in. "Okay no one who looks like that is a freak. She is a specimen of human perfection and we love her. Didn't we feel it? We felt it back here in the middle of the night when you were with her on our date."

Hermann lets out a loud and undignified groan.

"Yeah, man. If we didn't feel this strongly about her, you wouldn't be moping into your food," newt points out and he can feel that his drift partner realises this to. "Look at all these text messages. One coffee date and you're telling me you've 'found the one'?" He holds up his phone and taps his chopsticks on the table. "I had to deal with a week of you secretly picking out your children's names--don't lie, man! I felt it!--and I know that you miss her _bad_."

Hermann gives him a miserable look, but doesn't disagree.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

8\. Newt can't believe that Hermann is missing the birth of his son because of a conference in Geneva. Yes, he can feel Hermann sitting on a plane, trying to get back to Britain even though they both know it will be too late.

The doctor is warning him that sometimes birth is messy--he couldn't just let Vanessa deal with the labour on her own, duh--and he very snidely informs the doctor that not only is he a scientist but he has studied things that men tremble to name.

He forgets- _naturally-_ that he's gay and seeing female genitalia in a very strange state immediately has him throwing up in a corner of the delivery room while Vanessa shrieks at him to get over to her bedside and hold her hand. Newt stumbles over to her, apologising repeatedly to the angry nurses, feeling lightheaded and wanting to cry because oh my god how can a human body look like that?!

The baby is born a few hours later and Newt is so happy, channeling his joy across the invisible threads of the bond he shares with Hermann. He holds the baby, wishing he could share specific images with the man he's fallen in love with, but it's okay because another four hours later, Hermann is there and exhausted from his plane being rerouted out to Italy for an emergency landing. Vanessa is asleep when Hermann arrives and Newt goes to sleep on the bed on the other side of the room while the two new parents dote over their new child.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

9\. Hermann and Newt are both present when Vanessa receives the phone call from her father that disowns her from her family. She protests loudly in Persian that she should be allowed to marry Hermann, to have a child with him, that she's not betraying her faith by falling in love with someone who is responsible for the closure of the Rift and the death of so many Kaiju. "Because it's not really closed--it's just a metaphor!" She exclaims, looking to Hermann desperately for confirmation of her misguided hopes. Hermann nods silently, and Newt looks away, embarrassed for his sake. Vanessa didn't believe that kaiju could truly die, "That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.” She quoted Lovecraft often.

They could hear her father's angry shouts through the phone and she shrieked that loving Hermann was superior to just loving an average cultist because Hermann's math and science _proved_  the kaiju splendour.

The call ends with Vanessa in tears and locking herself in the bathroom as Hermann stands at the stove top with their dinners ready to be eaten, exchanging worried glances with Newt, who is sitting on the couch, arms wrapped around a throw pillow.

Newt has an electric guitar and amp at Vanessa's apartment, and performs improv songs for her on the regular, much to Hermann's chagrin.

After five minutes of Vanessa alone in the bathroom and Hermann agitated at the stove, Newt hooks up his guitar and stands on the coffee table and pulls his spare pick out of his skinny jeans. He strums the strings softly, something gentle and off the top of his head.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even deaaaaaath may die.” He imagines he's on stage and a thousand people are watching him. "At the bottom of the sea, They lie sleeping, oh Vanessa, girllllll, they lie dreaming. What cannot die, eternal lieeeeeee! Just keep believin'." Hermann is scowling at him for entertaining Vanessa's very inaccurate beliefs, but it makes for cool music and he will not be censored! "Oh Vanessa! Stop cryin'! Come out of the bathroom, for Hermann's cooking!" The song sounded a little less mournful at this point. "Smells like calamari--so delicious. Come on, girl. That's your favourite."

Hermann throws a dish towel at him, which he ducks and keeps playing.

"Vanessa, makin a kaiju blessed baby. Little kaiju blessed baby. Let's name him Trespasser--"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Hermann shouts loudly. 

"This is who you're marrying? That's not very rockstar of him," Newt points out in spoken word, now on a roll with his song. "Vanessa, name this holy child San Francisco Trespasser and I'll buy him a leather jacket like miiiiiine."

"Vanessa, help me!" Hermann begs, tapping at the bathroom door with his cane. 

Vanessa emerges, her eyes still a little red but looking much happier. Newt cheers and takes a moment to drink some water. 

"I think San Francisco Trespasser is a wonderful name," Vanessa insists, her arms draped over Hermann's shoulders.

The face Hermann makes and the shudder he gives makes Newt snort all his water out his nose and all over his guitar. 

"Serves you right," Hermann snaps as Newt and Vanessa laugh.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

10\. Newt finds the neural connexion he shares with Hermann overwhelming sometimes and he escapes to all night raves in the city to distract himself. The music is so loud and he's become very talented at dancing with glow sticks that glow Kaiju Blue. Parts of his tattoos glow under the blacklists overhead and he loves the euphoric feeling of the crowd around him celebrating life.

He can sense very distantly that in the depths of the Shatterdome, Hermann is on the phone with Vanessa, trying to make sense of their relationship. But it's good. They're making things normal, trying to make the world happier and better and normal for themselves. Newt spins the glow sticks here and there, thinking the heavy base beat is like a unified heartbeat.

And he doesn't allow himself to feel frightened that he's going to be left behind by the one person who truly gets him...

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

11\. "You drifted with him?" Vanessa asks him over dinner one evening in Boston. They were able to take time out of their schedules to meet half way for a transcontinental date. It's not public knowledge that Newt and Hermann have drifted and definitely considered classified that they drifted with a piece of kaiju brain. 

He nods, looking down at his fettuccini. 

"So you're in love."

It's a common misconception with the public that drifting automatically means love and soulmates and destiny and this was exactly what Hermann had feared about sharing the information with her.

And Hermann wants to explain to her that it's not that simple, that it's not that he's not wildly in love with her, it's just that he knows Newton as deeply as he knows himself, perhaps even better. And vice versa. And it hadn't even occurred to either men that it might be cheating when they shared a bed or shared kisses or said "I love you" until someone had said "so that thing with you and the model did't work out?" And Hermann had remembered that he and Newt weren't a single unit but two separate beings and now they'd involved an innocent third party into the mix.

It's so painful to have this conversation because they're already trying to have a baby and he hadn't--with all of his IQ and Newt's combined--even considered that he might be doing something that would destroy what he has with this woman he's so in love with.

"Is it wonderful? To drift?" 

Hermann is a little startled at her curiosity and warily he wonders if she's trying to set him for something.

"It's overwhelming," He admits. 

"Are you breaking up with me?" 

"I don't want to," he whispers.

"Is he making you?" She asks, setting her fork down. 

"What? No! No, but he and I..." God why is this so hard? "Newt and I didn't realise that how we are around one another might be considered unfaithful to you."

She nods and exhales. "So he wants to share. Oh, praise Them, I thought you were breaking up with me."

Hermann stares at her in shock and confusion. "S-s-share?"

"Well, obviously I can't come between you two. And, let's be honest, you're a bit much for one person." She cuts up the sea bass on her plate and a smile starts to appear on her lips. "Which means we both can have you."

Hermann stares at her, then the salt and pepper shakers and then he frowns. He's pretty sure that in the miserable discussion he and Newt had had over the past two days, this was never considered.

Then he makes a face and looks back at her. "I'm ' _a bit much_ '?" 

She smiles around her fork and nods. "Hermann, your brain doesn't turn off for one second. You're high maintenance. And if we both love you, what's wrong with having someone so that you're never alone?"

"What about you?" He's suspicious that this is some ploy for an open relationship, which he is *not* interested in. 

"I'm never alone." She smiles and her hand clutches the little vial of kaiju blue around her neck. 

Hermann requires a few minutes to process the matter, but begins to feel elated as she talks about her new job in an independent film where they needed someone who was "a babe".

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

12\. Hermann could feel Newt's agitation halfway through the day that he's fucked up something and he spends the rest of his afternoon with a vague unease as he finishes his guest lecture in San Francisco. When he gets back to the apartment the university had for visiting faculty, he immediately finds Newt, who is curled on the couch around a throw pillow. 

"I accidentally told her about Otachi's baby."

Hermann mentally curses and even that seems to sting Newt, who curls in on himself, ashamed. The fact that Otachi had had foetal kaiju within her was strictly classified, because they didn't need people panicking about babies hidden in the depths of the ocean waiting. Otachi was unique and probably the only carrier of her kind, meant to lay more versions of herself across the city to weaken the population. Hermann leaves Newt to tend to his wife. 

Vanessa is sitting by the bassinet, where their son is sleeping; she's looking out the window at the Bay and he can see the tear tracks down her cheeks. 

"She never got to see her baby." Vanessa sounds so sad and Hermann wonders if it's the bond of motherhood or simply because she's a cultist that this makes her mourn. She looks up at him and her eyes are watering again. "She never got to be a mum."

He puts a hand on her shoulder and feels the sorrow that's still radiating from Newt. In her world, the baby kaiju would have been celebrated and worshipped, their religion's own little Krishna, their little butter thief, so playful and mischievous. 

"The baby cut off its air supply with its umbilical cord. No one killed or hurt it," he assured her. 

She nods. He knows she's not satisfied with the answer, but she'll accept it for now. Perhaps one day he'll give her the full story. He kisses her head and leaves her to mourn so he can check on Newt.

"Do you hate me?" The other man asks.

It's times like this that Hermann loathes his wife's religion, but he doesn't let himself dwell on it, instead wrapping Newt into his arms and letting him feel safe. 

"Never. I never hated you."

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

13\. Newt loves that Vanessa uses him for red carpet events. Herm is usually too tired and also too camera shy to attend, but my _god_ does he love getting styled and dressed up and talking too loudly to the paparazzi. Vanessa is thrilled and laughs and giggles and her legs look a mile long in her high heels, which make her stand almost a foot taller than him. But whatever, man--this is how rock star nerd gods roll! 

She always takes him to the best preparties and helps him pick out the best swag bags then then let the cameras pick up all their good sides before they do their time at whatever event they're attending and then she's rushing them to the after parties where they can score good alcohol and awesome mini foods on trays and dance until dawn when their feet ache and then head home to find Hermann fast asleep on the couch while the seven year old jr Gottlieb is watching Saturday morning cartoons on mute, showing them his missing tooth with a large grin. 

Newt pretends to hate the aging Coldplay's cover of a song he wrote back in college, pretends not to give a shit when the DJs at the after parties play the only solo album he released a year after Vanessa and Hermann married, pretends he's too fucking cool for all of that because man, he saved the _fucking_  world, how metal is _that_?! And he smirks when Bono asks to do a collab and he yawns when Adele asks if he thinks it's okay if she uses a sample of "Vanessa" on her new album. 

His nerdy enthusiasm is cute to Vanessa and Hermann, but he has a hardcore image to protect, man! Playing the aloof, distant rockstar is what he was born to do. He doesn't care about the celebrities--he creates *art*. And yes, he signs autographs for his young fans and geeks out when they begin to squawk about science and string theory and Dead Kennedys, but other rock and roll gods? Fuck that--Newton is a level they can't ever reach. It makes him 'mysterious' and 'intriguing' and--

"Pompous looking!" Hermann snaps as he watches Newt selecting which leather jacket to wear to the event he and Vanessa will attend tomorrow night. "You do not look anywhere as 'cool' as you think you do. You look like a reject from a punk cover band--someone who got lost from the set of a b-movie."

Newt clutches at his heart dramatically. "Why must you say these things? Why do you wound my fragile genius nature?" 

Hermann hits him with a pillow from their bed and Newt runs to his electric guitar, which is still hooked up to the amp from earlier in the day. "Oh my god Gottlieb!" He croons loudly as he brings his fingers down violently over the strings. "Why are you such a heartbreaker? Why are you such a faker? I know that you looooove me!"

"Stop that!" Hermann shouts. 

"Babe, you are just lying to yourself, not foolin anybody else! I know you think I'm the best and this love is a test for meeeeeeeeeeee!" He continues singing. 

Hermann and Vanessa's son comes barging into the room, cheering and signing horribly off key backup which causes Hermann to flop backwards on the bed and cover his face with the pillow he'd hit Newt with moments earlier. Newt encourages the boy's singing until Vanessa, who is laughing hysterically, herds them out of the room to give Hermann some peace and quiet. 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

14\. As the due date for the baby approaches, a level of anxiety settles over Vanessa and Hermann. She's not willing to break the centuries old tradition of naming her future son after one of their fathers, which is a delicate subject considering both of them don't speak to their fathers anymore. Hermann feels nauseous passing on his own father's name to a child he will love and Vanessa has *banned* all mention of her family in her presence. 

It finally hits Hermann one night as he's feeling the baby kicking in his wife's stomach that his biological father isn't his _only_  father. Intertwined with his own childhood are the loving memories of Newt's father and uncle and Hermann almost cries with relief because he loves Jacob Geiszler, even if they haven't met yet. 

He wakes Vanessa up to explain it to her and she sighs in relief because she likes this idea.

"If you're half of Newt, then that counts," she assures him, then convinces him to get to sleep. 

When they wake in the morning, they video conference with Newton, who's visiting Mako Mori and Raleigh Becket in Sydney. Newt is stunned, doesn't even have anything clever to say about the child he'd already deemed "San Francisco Trespasser Gottlieb" just sits there and fights back tears and croaks out "thank you guys" before ending the call. 

Jacob. Jacob Gottlieb. 


	15. Chapter 15

 

15\. Hermann and Newt think it might be best to tell Vanessa before the public announcement about the Anteverse, because what could destroy a person's faith about their gods than finding out they were manufactured by an alien race?

"So?" She says, her eyebrows raised in confusion as she sits on their bunk in the Shatterdome, her hand resting on her massive belly. 

Newt thinks she's too close to her due date to be traveling the world, doesn't want her to have a baby in former kaiju territory. She can't think of anything better. 

"Vanessa, someone _made_  the kaiju," Hermann says, tiptoeing whatever it is he really wants to say. 

"Yes, I got that," she tells them, her other hand playing with the bed's coverlet. 

"Doesn't that...bother you? That they aren't actually gods--" Hermann starts to say, but she holds her hands up. 

"Well, they're still gods."

They look at her dumbfounded and she shakes her head and smiles. Her sweet scientists. If they could just open their hearts to the information they'd been processing over the years, they'd see the Gods for what they actually were. 

"It doesn't matter that they had to be _created_. They had to be believed in first to exist, and Their form so lovingly crafted to be how They are. They're still better than Their creators, than us. That's the important part." She sips some of the soda Newt had brought for her. "Praise Them."

"But they aren't smarter--" Newt is elbowed in the stomach for saying this by Hermann. 

She holds out her hands to them so they'll help her off the bed and then she stretches her legs. The baby inside her is kicking up a storm and she praises Leatherback for a life growing so strongly inside her. 

"They don't have to be smarter. They judged those unworthy. They worked on ridding the world of those that caused conflict." She touches a poster Newt has hanging above the bed that shows Trespasser tearing through San Francisco. How can she make them understand? "If They hadn't come to remind us of our place, we would have gone on fighting each other, destroying this planet, living without true fear of something greater. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe it was Their will for those beings in the Anteverse to bring Them to a physical form? That They know us so well that They would cross universes to save such weak and ungrateful creatures such as ourselves?"

She feels a little smug at showing Newt and Hermann up in their own territory, but denying them the Truth would be so selfish and she nods her head towards the door of their room. Their stop in Hong Kong is the end of the honeymoon that they're travelling the world on. Newt has joined them at various stops, working on a new album. Newt offers out his arm to her and the three leave the room; she likes all of the Kaiju tattoos and smiles as he hums the song he said he's writing for her. Hermann has that look on his face like he wants to argue with her about "science vs religion" which is _preposterous_  because they're the same thing, but when she holds out her hand to him, the expression melts into one of fondness and they walk down the narrow hallway together. She gives a silent prayer to Them for her good fortune. 

Oh, Greater, Bigger, Stronger,

I thank Thee for this day You give unto me,

I tremble before Thee, I offer myself to serve Thee,

I thank Thee for the gifts You have left for me to take, as all is Yours and ever shall be,

Praise Them!

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

16\. It's between the knowledge that he's dating a cultist and their second month together that they meet in Dubai for one of her photo shoots in the desert. They lie to the hotel staff and say they're married so they can get a room together. Both have serious jet lag and are resting on the bed together. Somewhere in Hong Kong, he can feel Newt at one of his all night raves, and he feels he's sharing a heartbeat with the other man, a phantom feeling of being in the dark with glow sticks spinning everywhere. 

"Let's have a baby."

He nods slowly, his mind sluggishly trying to sort out what exactly he's agreeing to. He can sense Newt is worried they're drifting apart, which is ridiculous because he can't get a moment away from the other man's neural connexion. They drifted together in a raw form--they have a bond stronger than that of the jaeger pilots, something that gives him an odd satisfaction. 

He sits up as he realises what his girlfriend has said to him. 

"A-a-a baby?"

"Wouldn't we make the best kids? With our looks and our brains?"

It takes him well into their sleep to realise he's never been interested in children, that this is Newton's influence and he pulls Vanessa closer to him. Yes, wouldn't they all make such wonderful children?


	17. Chapter 17

17\. Another thing about K-Day was that people's attitudes towards people who were differently abled had to change and _fast_. Everyone knew someone or was related to someone or _was_  someone who'd been hurt in a kaiju attack or building The Wall somewhere or whatever. Hermann's leg was curious because it was something he'd had since birth, but not anything that had cost him jobs as an adult or friendships. No, his attitude did that all on its own. 

His father had written him off as having any worth after the diagnosis and God knew that Hermann _tried_  to impress the man. But after Hermann was a bitter adult, he decided to cut his losses and just pretend his father isn't a part of his life. 

The first time he's undressed in front of Vanessa, in Dubai, she hardly glances at the surgical scars along his thigh and hip. To her, they're there just like the mole on his lower back is there. Not really a big deal. It's a huge relief. 

Sometimes at night, he lets Newton rub at the scars for hours, the same way he used to as a child, willing them to disappear. It feels less alone that Newton can bear the burden of a part of himself he hates so much. It's a huge relief. 


	18. Chapter 18

18."Your mum and I were going to name you _'San Francisco Trespasser'_ ," Newt tells fifteen year old Jacob over breakfast one morning. 

Jacob is shovelling cornflakes into his mouth. The milk of his cereal is an offensively bright kaiju blue hue, courtesy of a special sugar topping Mako sends them from Japan every month or so. 

Jacob's tongue is bright blue. "No, you weren't."

Newt hold up his hand like a boyscout. "*Swear*."

Jacob makes a face and looks at his mother who's cutting a peach for her breakfast and she shrugs in response. Apparently alarmed at this new information to his backstory, he looks to Hermann, who is eating toast and reading a newspaper. 

"Were Dada and Mum going to name me San Francisco Trespasser?!"

"I objected," Hermann tells him quite seriously.

"Ugh," Jacob declares in the surly way all teenagers are capable of. He grabs his leather jacket and his bowl of cereal to go eat in his bedroom. 

"Hey, that name is rock-n-roll, kid! You should appreciate that I was cool enough to want to give it to you!" Newt calls after him. 

"Its not cool at all!" Jacob yells back and Newt rolls his eyes dramatically. 

Hermann smiles smugly and turns the page of the newspaper. "It would appear there is hope for my son after all."

 


	19. Chapter 19

19. The first miniature is created under highly classified conditions, a gorgeous replica of Otachi's baby. They manage to sneak Vanessa into the lab to look at it, because it would feel so awkward to keep this information from her anymore. 

"Praise Them. Able to take a form that we so humbly ask, to know Them better," she says as she looks at it through the little viewing portal on its _very_  secure habitat. 

Hermann rolls his eyes, because how could he become involved with two kaiju groupies? He must be a masochist to live like this. Newton is talking a mile a minute about how he reverse engineered the DNA to make this little monster, all smiles and run on sentences about how pretty 'she' is. Vanessa "Oohs!" and "ahhs!" in all the right spaces and Hermann sighs loudly, tapping his cane on the floor. He almost wishes Marshall Pentecost was here to catch them and run them out of the lab for trespassing after hours. He finally clears his throat enough times to give her a tour of his side of the lab--all this space and now he can't imagine being separated from Newton while working-- and she does show genuine interest in his work. He hopes to educate her with evidence that kaiju are not gods. She hopes to covert him with exactly the same information. 

When they finally leave, the three are in the middle of a spirited debate about statistical probabilities of the Rift being opened again via a different location because as Newton argues, "this is how sequels happen, dude". Vanessa's arm is around his waist and she kisses his cheek as Newt rambles on about the "battle for ultimate earth dominance". 

Vanessa teases, "At least you'd get to keep your job."

Yes, definitely a masochist.

 


	20. Chapter 20

20. Newt's love song to Vanessa probably sounds it was written by a man who is desperately in love with the woman his best friend is marrying. But really, the song is Hermann's thoughts about her, translated into words and musical notes, Newt's just singing it. 

Newt sings it in a cramped coffee shop, the one where Hermann and Vanessa met and there are people swaying to the rhythm of the music, feeling how Hermann feels about her, how he feels about her. Mother of his child, of Hermann's child. Witty and beautiful and total cool with kaiju. She's the best, the best that could ever happen to his life, to Hermann's life, to his life. He still thinks of himself and Hermann as a collective, as a greater combined mind spread across two bodies. 

He sings it on a stage when the whim of performing as the rock god he *knows* he is becomes overwhelming and the crowd is sold out, all chanting the words along with him and he wants to cry because Hermann's love for this woman fills him so completely and he _swears_  he's not jealous because how could he be jealous that the other half of his mind has found his soulmate? 

The song is a chart topping single in America and when Vanessa, post pregnancy, walks down the runway at the headlining Chanel spring collection on Karl Lagerfeld's arm (seriously, how is this guy still alive?), and the song for her is playing for everyone to hear, he can see how smug Hermann is that the lyrics are about his wife and that everyone knows it. They're both holding hands when she blows a kiss to them. 

He plays the song at Hermann and Vanessa's wedding, and no one can keep their eyes off her. He forgoes the electric guitar and plays the song acoustic, and he smiles at Hermann, wishing they could high five and he can see a small tic under Hermann's eye because he heard that thought, would _never_  high five at his wedding. He's surprised them with the song, just something he'd been working on in between interviews, a gift. It will later evolve into a prompt for a full album, but for now it's just the first dabbling in music he's had in a long while. 

No, Newt writes the real mushy stuff for Hermann. 

 


	21. Chapter 21

21. Hannibal Chau is still alive and it's kind of a weird problem. Its even weirder for Hermann because he realises he's oddly attracted to the man because Newton found him a little hot when they first met. So he sits there awkwardly in the inner chamber of Chau's, all sitting together, Chau pouring them overseeped tea into little, delicate cups. Hermann sits a bit further away from the other two, watching Chau with suspicion and the door with anxious desire. 

It's been a week since he and Newt drifted and they can't go anywhere without one another, an invisible tether trying to keep their minds as close as possible. It's less obvious at the Shatterdome where they couldn't get away from one another to begin with, but now that Newton has to head into the Boneslums to get ahold of the black marketeer so they can negotiate a deal to get parts for a project that--surprise!--had funding passed while the two Kaiju had been tearing up Hong Kong. 

It's weird because everyone thought Chau had died and it's even weirder now because Chau is very openly flirting with Newton, a hand touching at Newton's hair, playing with his skinny tie as Newton ignores him, trying to argue for the kaiju parts his project requires. 

"What's up with your friend?" Chau finally asks. Hermann's been glaring at him for a solid twenty minutes. 

"My associate isn't impressed with you is what's up," Newton quips. 

Chau glances at Hermann and nods his head to the south wall. "That so? There's the door."

It takes all of Hermann's cognitive functions to not refer to himself and Newton in the collective tense. "I will _not_  leave him here alone with _you_." 

Chau grins. "Don't trust me?"

"Not at all. I know your reputation."

Newton groans in frustration. "Can we get back to the matter at hand? Please?"

Hermann sniffs in disapproval, but will agree for Newton's sake. The scientist turns back to the criminal, who Hermann can feel is staring at him from behind those sunglasses. 

"I want anything you have that's undergone minimal preservation. Or moderate."

"And what if I got buyers who will pay more than PPDC?" Chau's smile is taunting. 

"Why are you such a dick, man?" Newton sounds as though his patience is running thin. Hopefully this means they'll be leaving soon. 

Or not. 

Chau leans in and whispers something into Newton's ear, leering, and suddenly Newt fights a smile and blushes. Hermann glares and he's sure he looks jealous, though it's really because he finds Chau untrustworthy and disgusting for trying to manipulate Newton. Okay, part of him is a little jealous that Chau isn't flirting with him. 

Newton isn't exactly protesting when Chau's hand comes to rest on his thigh and Hermann is certain his scowl is caustic. It takes a few more minutes and Newton stutters a bit as the deal is finalised. The second the verbal agreement is made, Hermann drags Newton out of the building, feeling that the scientist is giving a wave goodbye and mouthing out the words 'Call me!'

"He's manipulating us," Hermann says angrily as he marches them down the sidewalk 

"Uh, duh. That's how bartering works."

"He is trying to get us in a vulnerable position so he can ransom us or worse."

"Oh no, man. He's totally harmless--he just wants to fool around."

"He had a knife up our nose when we met him," Hermann snaps. 

"Just security measures--" 

"Do you understand that I would loose half of my mind if anything happens to you?" Hermann shouts at Newton, halted in the rainy street. "It's not a metaphor! I would literally lose _us_  and I will _not_  allow that to happen! We've both seen Mr Hansen!"

Newton stills as though Hermann had slapped him hard and then he was holding Hermann tightly. 

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispers and Hermann can feel rain running down the back of his neck and down under the collar of his shirt because he hasn't put his hood up, but it's fine because Newton is so close, so real in his arms. "I won't leave. You're my drift partner."

Hermann wants to sob with relief because as overwhelming as this bond has been, it also means he'll never feel alone again and isn't that what anyone really wants?

 


	22. Chapter 22

22. At the event of K-Day, the music industry had halted for about a five year stint before returning as though nothing had happened. During that time, people had taken an interest in reviewing the past few centuries of classic, country, pop, punk, rock, and jazz. It also allows for non-western music to see a surface of popularity because it was being "discovered" by white America for the first time. The Indian psychedelic movement is pretty popular for a while and people tap into their local karaoke scenes to become small time celebrities. Newt's dad sees a small rise in popularity in Boston as a piano player, which is cool because he plays at an Italian restaurant and on top of his pay and tips, he gets to take home a bunch of breadsticks each night. 

But the real surprise comes when radio stations start accepting people's demo tapes, their own private covers and original compositions. There's only so many times one can listen to the 2013 hits before your brain feels ready to melt. 

In 2016, Uncle Illia is sorting through some of the boxes in the attic when he comes across some cassettes in Newt's hand writing. He plays them on the kitchen boom box and when they seem to be okay, he makes spends a few hours transferring them to the computer and putting together a few CDs; he's done this with his brother's work so he's in his element making anthologies of his nephew's music. 

And while he knows Newton would probably want his permission asked first, he takes a cd to the local radio station that accepts submissions, adding a note on the cover that says, "Newton Geiszler is currently the head of the PPDC's Kaiju science department. He is the world's leading expert on Kaiju."

The college student in charge of reviewing submissions does notice the note and curious, googles to see if a Mr Newton Geiszler is in fact the leading expert on kaiju and he gets a good laugh when he sees what a nerd this guy is, but the music is pretty decent and he's sure that with the interesting backstory, his music will hold up well on the station. 

By the end of the month, "I'd Fuck a Hadron Collider" and "Post-Mortem Punks" are the top two songs requested by listeners between the ages of 16-30 and half a world away, Newt has _no_ idea he's a rockstar. 

 


	23. Chapter 23

Newt is very confident in his body and appearance—he feels no shame flexing in the reflective metal that fronts as a mirror in the PPDC’s communal showers. With such badass tattoos, shaved arms (to show off aforementioned tattoos), and the beginning of abs, he feels he’d be denying his loved ones a great privilege by keeping it all to himself. He’s not put a shirt on and he’s just brushed his teeth; making a few cool faces, he does selfies in front of the reflective metal, showing off his bod in ways that he’s pretty certain Hermann will enjoy and then texts the photo with his eyes open to aforementioned mathematician.

>>YO CHECK OUT HOW GOOD I LOOK

He sends two more to Hermann with no reply, so he adds,

>>PLS RSPND

<<stop it

>>BUT I LOOK REALLY GOOD

Newt waits twenty seconds and then adds,

>>TELL ME I LOOK GOOD

<<stop

Annoyed, Newt changes the text to a group chat and adds Vanessa, and after some brief introspection adds Hannibal Chau as well. Fishing for complements is seen by others as pathetic, but you can’t get something if you don’t at least ask for it, right?

The response is immediate.

>>Wow ur such a BABE newt!!! ;D <3<3<3

<<Nice look little buddy

Hermann suddenly seems able to reply.

<<STOP IT NEWT

<<YOU ARE SUCH A CHILD

Vanessa is more encouraging. <<Ur cute newt! Send me more!!!

<<VANESSA NO

Newt preens a bit more as he types back to her. >>Anything for you m’lady

He sends a great pic that emphasises all the muscles his recent pushups have been building,

<<STOP IT

He scoffs and poses for a really rockstar look, his hair tousled and glasses put away.

<<STOP

Chau’s response nearly beats Herm’s. <<yeah send more but to my work line this phone about 2 die

Now Hermann’s irritation has reached its zenith, as he has dropped the all caps and switched to frantic run on sentences. <<iam reporting you right now this is abuse of ppdc property/work phone

He isn’t willing to push his luck any further, not willing to deal with the other man being angry with him past the point he’s at now. But he’s satisfied with the complements that were paid to him and proudly screen caps the parts of the group text that he likes and makes it his phone background. Putting the phone away, he returns to drying and styling his hair, ready for another day of taking on the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for ninjaninaiii  
> told u i'd write it!


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